---

TL;DR – Recovery is not about perfection or taking control. Recovery is about being intentional: choosing day by day, to show up for yourself. Small, consistent actions create lasting freedom. If you feel overwhelmed, start simple: plan one meal, take one honest step, and remember you don’t have to do recovery perfectly. Just do recovery intentionally.

---

Imagine we’re sitting at my kitchen table, having a chat over a cup of coffee, tea, or the abstinent beverage of your choice. I’m so happy you’re here!

If you had asked me years ago what recovery meant, I would have said something like “just getting control of my eating“, or “finally losing the weight“, or even “just figuring out how to be normal around food“.

I thought recovery was a destination. A finish line. A place I would “arrive“… if I only just tried “hard enough”.

What I’ve learned, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, (and frankly sometimes painfully), is that recovery is not a “place“.

Recovery is verb, not a noun. Recovery is a way you choose to live. Recovery is a lifestyle.

And the one word that changed my entire mindset around recovery is this one: INTENTIONAL.

---

Being Intentional In Recovery

Being intentional in recovery means deciding, every single day, that your own healing and well-being matters. That YOU matter. That your life is worth the effort it takes to show up differently than you used to.

Not for anyone else. For yourself.

No one drifts away from recovery by accident.

We recover on purpose. Intentionally.

---

Recovery Is A Choice

For most of my life, I lived on autopilot with food.

I reacted to everything!

I surfed on my feelings, whether good or bad. I followed cravings. I made promises to myself at night, and broke them by morning. I was constantly starting over, constantly ashamed, constantly exhausted from my own mental cycle and “food noise”.

When I finally found abstinence, I initially thought the magic was in the food plan.

And yes, having a clear, structured way of eating does mattes. Food plans matter a lot.

But what actually saved me was not just changing what was on my plate or in my pantry. It was changing how I showed up for my life.

---

Making a Daily Choice Becomes A Daily Practice

Recovery is a choice, and it’s a daily practice. Not a mood. Not a feeling. Not something that magically just sticks once you “get it“.

It’s a series of small, ordinary choices you make again and again.

• Recovery is choosing to plan your meals instead of hoping for the best.
• Recovery is choosing to pause instead of panic.
• Recovery is choosing to reach out instead of isolate.
• Recovery is choosing to be honest instead of pretending you’re fine.
• Recovery is choosing to help someone else instead of staying stuck in your own thoughts.

None of that is glamorous. Most of recovery happens quietly, behind the scenes, where no one is clapping for you.

But those tiny choices to show up for yourself? Those are where freedom is built.

---

Intentionality Is Not The Same As Control

This is where I need to slow down for a minute, because the distinction between being intentional and being in control is super important.

For a long time, I thought being intentional meant tightening my grip on everything. I thought recovery meant controlling my food, my body, my schedule, and my emotions. Basically, trying to manage life with military precision just so I wouldn’t fall apart again.

But control was actually a huge part of my illness.

Control sounded like this: white knuckling, forcing, obsessing, and living in constant fear of messing up.

Intentionality feels VERY different.

• Control says “I have to manage everything perfectly or I am either a failure, or I am not safe”.
• Intentionality says “I’m going to take the next right step and trust the process“.
• Control is rigid and anxious.
• Intentionality is gentle and grounded.

When I was stuck in control, recovery (and life) felt like a punishment, like a set of rules I had to obey.

When I learned to be intentional instead of trying to control everything, recovery became an act of care.

Now I understand the difference, and I’m truly living with intention.

Being intentional means I plan my meals (using tools like our free food plan template), but I don’t try to control every emotion that moves through me.

It means I create structure, but I don’t pretend I can control outcomes.

It means I do my part: I show up , I follow my program, I ask for help… and then I let go of the rest.

Control whispers “try harder.”

Intentionality whispers “Breathe. And just do the next right thing.“

This shifted mindset changed everything for me.

Recovery was never about gripping life tighter. Recovery is about loosening my grip enough to allow something healthier to grow.

---

Don’t Wait – Be Intentional Now

If you’re new to recovery, you might be waiting to feel ready. Waiting to feel strong. Waiting to feel like one of those people who has it all together.

Let me gently tell you something I wish someone had told me:

You don’t become intentional because you feel better.

You feel better because you become intentional.

Intentional recovery is what turns chaos into calm. It’s what turns shame into self-respect. It’s what slowly rebuilds trust with yourself.

---

You Matter

For years I broke every promise I made to myself. I said I would start tomorrow, and then I didn’t. I said “just one bite“, and it was never just one bite. I lived like my own needs didn’t matter.

Recovery taught me to do something radical: to treat myself like someone worth taking care of.

Every time I make an abstinent meal, go to a meeting, write in my journal, say a prayer, or ask for help, I am practicing that new way of living.

I am saying, “I AM worth the effort“.

That is what intentional recovery really is. It’s radical self-care. Recovery is self-love, in action.

---

Showing Up For Yourself No Matter What

Through Abstinent Kitchen, I’ve heard from so many of you. Real people in real lives who want recovery more than anything – but feel overwhelmed about how to actually live it out.

Recovery should not feel like a mystery or a secret club. Living intentionally in recovery is something everyday people can learn to do – step by step, meal by meal, day by day.

Intentional recovery is NOT about being perfect. It’s not about never struggling, never wanting to quit, never having hard days.

Intentional recovery is about deciding that even on the messy days, you’re going to keep showing up for yourself.

Especially on the messy days.

---

How To Start Being Intentional

If you’re wondering how to start being intentional, it’s really simple.

Right now, take a moment and try this:

Pause. Put your hand over your heart. And say, “today, I choose my recovery“.

That’s it.

There’s really no “official” ceremony for becoming intentional. You just start wherever you are. Make one choice today. Make another tomorrow. And the next day. And so on.

---

Choose Today

You don’t need to fix your whole life. You don’t need to have the next week, month, or year figured out. You just need to choose today on purpose.

That one small choice has the power to change everything.

If it helps, write it down on a sticky note and put it on the bathroom mirror. Or the door to the fridge, or pantry. Or someplace you’ll see it often.

---

Abstinent Kitchen exists to help you live recovery in the real world – from grocery stores, family dinners, busy schedules, emotional days, to actual kitchens with actual temptations.

Recovery works when we live it intentionally.

If you’re tired, discouraged, or afraid you’ll never get this “recovery-thing right“, come a little closer and listen to me, bestie…

You don’t have to do this perfectly.

You just have to do this on purpose. With intention.

One task at at time, one intentional day at a time.

---

Food For Thought

• In what areas of my recovery have I been living on autopilot instead of on purpose?
• How do I currently treat my recovery: like a priority, or like something I’ll get around to later?
• Where in my life am I still waiting to “feel ready” instead of choosing to begin?
• When I think about showing up for myself, what fears or resistance come up?
• How would my life change if I truly believed I was worth the effort recovery requires? (Spoiler alert: YOU ARE WORTH IT!)
• When I hear the phrase “intentional recovery”, what does that mean to me personally?
• Where in my recovery am I practicing true intentionality, and where am I secretly trying to control outcomes instead of simply taking the next right step?
• If control is driven by fear and intentionality is driven by self-respect, which voice has been leading me lately? Which one do I want to follow?

---